If you’ve read any of my previous posts here on the Dear Lillie blog,then you’re probably expecting another couple of paragraphs filled with greatlyexaggerated anecdotes about my newfound home décor capabilities scrambled togetherwith harsh accusations about my sister’s uninspiring work ethic. Even thoughthe title of this post may suggest something of a similar mold, I have decidedto take the high road this time around—and by that I mean that I won’t be mentioningJenni’s recent affinity for afternoon naps or any of her weekend trips to theKingsmill Spa (okay, it was one trip… and it was an eight-month overduebirthday present, but still).
Easily the most help I've gotten all month.
Instead of boring you with an unmistakably honest explanation of Jenni’slackadaisical approach to small business, I will plead my case for DearLillie’s first Employee of the Month award by simply explaining what I have hadto overcome during my month-long stay at the Holmes’ residence. In the process, I hope to convince youthat I am worthy of such a distinction without even mentioning any of mysister’s numerous shortcomings.
And who do you think got her these boy's jammies?
For starters, within my first week of arriving in Williamsburg, both anearthquake and a hurricane rocked our historic town, and the ensuing poweroutage resulted in my being forced into a small hotel room with what seemed likemy entire extended family (admittedly, Lillie and Lola were on their shockinglybest behavior). Returning home, Iquickly set up shop in my new office/bedroom/nursery—a must have for anytwenty-first century executive. Between the small nook tucked behind my niece’s crib and the Holmes’broken air conditioner, one could reasonably argue that my working conditions havebeen somewhat less than adequate.
If my lack of tangible accommodations isn’t enough to swing the vote inmy favor, let me explain what has been perhaps an even more overwhelmingtransition for me. Until about ayear ago I had absolutely no idea that there was an entire subculture of womenwho made and sold things from their homes for a living. And never in a million years did I everthink that I would one day find myself deeply entrenched in such a sorority. Oddly enough, not even my athletic“career” as a women’s basketball practice player could prepare me for aprofessional “career” in which women refer to their associates and/orcompetitors not by their given names but by their online pseudonyms.
Yes, helping run a women’s and children’s boutique has been a bit of aculture shock for me, as Jenni actually expects me to spend my almost nonexistentfree time reading mommy blogs or catching up on Tivo’d episodes of DesignStar. But on the other hand, beinga “higher-up” in a two-person company hasn’t entirely been a burden thus far… I’ve managed to routinely mooch off ofJenni and Jon for just about all of life’s necessities (I move into myapartment in another week or so, so I’m trying to enjoy the lack of expenseswhile I can) all the while further cementing my place as Lillie and Lola’sfavorite relative.
Oh, and as far as Employee of the Month goes… I’m sure by now you’llagree that I’m a lock. Besides, I’m not even confident that Jenni qualifieswith all of the vacation time she’s been taking lately.
Okay... Apparently I may have taken a nap or two myself...
P.S. In other news, I’ve also been giving out “Parent of the Week”awards to the more deserving Holmes parent at the conclusion of each week.Currently, Jon has compiled landslide victories in each of the first threeweeks. And even though he will bespending the majority of this week on the recruiting trail, he is (notsurprisingly) looking like a strong candidate for a four-peat.
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